Everyone knows it, most of us are guilty of it: doomscrolling.

While we often pretend that it’s just a bad habit, it most likely already turned into a toxic relationship with a vicious cycle. It can lead to depression and anxiety. These feelings paired with scrolling on the phone right before bedtime leads to unrestful sleep or even insomnia, which in turn feeds the depressive burden.

Blunt statement: You are in a toxic relationship with your phone. (I’ve said what I’ve said.)

I’ve been there too. I tried and failed many times to break free of this vicious cycle. But last year, I finally figured it out.

And the best part: me and my phone are doing pretty well now.

Imagine all the free time you get when you don’t constantly hang out with your phone but with yourself (or family or friends).

Do you also want your time back? Aka your life?

You don’t have to get rid of the phone and delete everything to break free. We are not anti-social humans after all. But you have to relearn how and when you use your phone. You have to set up healthy boundaries to have a good relationship with your phone.

And I’ll show you how.

1. No phone first thing in the morning

You probably already heard this advice over and over again.

Let me tell you, it works. This was actually the turning point, the initial trigger to re-evaluate my toxic relationship with my phone.

I’m asking you: if you would not have the phone next to you when waking up, how would you like to spend the first few moments of your morning?

Like really, imagine it.

The shift you have to make is pretty easy: put the phone somewhere non-reachable and non-visible. This can be another room or the drawer of your nightstand.

Do you need the phone as an alarm clock? Invest in a physical one. Or use your smartwatch. If you really can’t go without the phone, at least turn off the internet connection.

Now, how are you gonna spend the first 15 minutes in the morning?

Here’s what I do instead of the morning scroll: a short 5 min meditation, followed by 10 minutes of reading.

An unexpected side-effect was that it starts a positive momentum. During the day I am much less likely to grab the phone and instead wonder how the story in the book continues. Instead of the phone I rather pick up the book.

Pro tip: bring your e-reader or book with you. Whenever you’re waiting somewhere (at the bus station, in the doctor’s waiting room, etc.) or have the urge to pick up the phone – pick up the book instead.

2. Make social media unattractive

There are many ways to make it cumbersome to check social media.

You could delete the accounts, however, I understand that this might be too radical. Another option is to delete the apps from the phone and access it via desktop.

What I did is to delete the apps from the homescreen. When you want to open it, you have to go through all the apps on your phone, which gives you enough time to quickly halt and reevaluate if you really want to go in there.

Also, turn off the notifications. You won’t die if you’re not updated all the time.

You have to make a choice: you either miss out on the recent online updates – which are most likely not even real-time and accessible at least all day – or you miss out on real life moments –
which you won’t get back.

And fun side-effect, I like the surprise factor when I finally take some time to intentionally check my social media feeds (see next point).

3. Screen-Timeblocking

Do you already scroll with your eyes? Yes, I know I love planning, but hear me out!

Scheduling your time for social media and scrolling works wonders. See it as a date with your phone. Make it intentional.

For example, when you get home after work, sit down for 30 minutes with your favorite hot drink and really enjoy the online socializing time.

Pro tip: Don’t schedule it right before sleeping. The blue light disturbs your sleeping schedule and you’re not set up for your precious morning and building that good momentum (see point 1).

Pro tip 2: Take advantage of your phone’s well-being tool. When you’re guilty of regular date-time extension, you can limit the screen time of specific apps on your phone. Make your phone work for you, not against you.

4. Why are you reaching for the phone?

You can answer this question right now are ask this anytime you want to grab the phone. Most likely, it will be one of the following cases: you’re bored, you’re tired or you’re overwhelmed.

 When you’re bored or tired:

Look for for alternative things to do, but keep in mind: we often try to use the time as productive as possible (chores, working out, etc. – hello self-improvement epidemic). But you are not always in that high-energy mode. Sadly, we forgot that we can also do things just for pure joy.

Thus, find things you like to do in your low-energy level, such as colouring, listening to an audiobook, taking a bath, reading, working on your scrapbook.

 When you’re overwhelmed:

Stop. Take a moment and breathe. Journal all the tasks that trigger this feeling. Get the things out of your head. Go for a walk and let your mind wander. Let your brain process.

In this article, you will find a full guide on how to tackle overwhelm with intention, turning it into feeling empowered and motivated in 6 steps.

5. The bucket list is there to live it

Don’t mind me, but I will repeat myself again: Imagine all the free time you get when you don’t constantly hang out with your phone but with yourself (or family or friends).

What did you always wanted to learn but never got time to? What hobby do you want to try but you were always too busy or exhausted?

Again, think about how much time you freed up now. You’re no longer living only for your phone, but living for yourself. Now, fill your life with all the amazing stuff that was always just there sitting on your bucket list, waiting for you to be ready.

Do you need some inspiration?

-          Take an online course for that new skill or business idea of yours

-          Read a non-fiction book about a topic that interests you, or join a book club

-          Try different exercise styles, such as hot yoga, riding horses, inline skating

-          Master a new hobby, for example photography

-          Spend the time with family and friends

-          Go for long evening walks with your partner, or the dog of your neighbor (I know, a hard call to make 😊)

Always live by this: “Creation over Consumption”

6. Join the Digital Detox Challenge

If you don’t know where to start, I’ve got something for ya: The Doomscrolling Detox.

This is a 7-day challenge filled with inspiration and guided questions to lead you through this transformative experience, step-by-step. Grab your free copy down below!